BBCSiena never thought she’d be taking lessons in communication and confidence from a three-year-old.
She is part of a scheme that pairs teenagers with toddlers from a local nursery in a bid to help increase school attendance and engagement.
The 13-year-old says she had a “lot of anxiety” so would never be in school, but “coming here has taught me more about how to communicate and be more confident and it’s funny a toddler is teaching us things.”
While she didn’t think the project would help increase her attendance, it has actually more than doubled.
“It’s really helped me,” she says. “The toddler I’m paired with has grown so much and it makes me so happy to see,” she tells the BBC’s Morning Live.
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As the summer holiday ends and the new school year begins, many parents will be worrying about their child’s attendance and engagement.
The issue of school avoidance is a big one and one charity has created this mentoring programme with its research suggesting that a disengaged teenager having responsibility for a younger child in a controlled setting can have a positive impact on their engagement with school and learning.
Since the pandemic, school absence has almost doubled – in the 2024/25 academic year, 17.79% of pupils were persistently absent meaning they missed 10% or more school sessions.
Data shows that just 10 days of absence can halve the chance of a student getting at least a grade 5 in English and Maths.
Miller, 12, another pupil participating in the scheme says he struggles to stay in class because he has a lot of energy, but that the sessions have helped him focus more on his school work.
“I was a bit nervous and it took me two weeks to say yes to the project as I was really shy.”
Miller has been paired with three-year-old Andrew and says they are now really close.
“When he sees me he runs up to me and gives me a hug.”
As well as developing his confidence, Miller adds that the sessions have made him feel calmer and less energetic.
Sam Marcus is the director of services at Power2, the charity that runs this scheme, currently only in London and Manchester.
It offers various mentoring programmes to children of all ages and over the years has helped 27,000 children and young people to re-engage with school.
This particular project works across a 16-week period where teenagers visit a local nursery once a week and mentor a child.
The pairing is well thought out – “it’s often based on personalities so a really vibrant toddler might be paired with a shy teenager or a timid toddler is matched with a boisterous teen which helps create a much softer side to them.”
The aim is that the bond between the toddler and teen will help build confidence and accountability that encourages them to then turn up to lessons and “a sense of responsibility to young people who often aren’t given those positions”.
“If a child is disruptive in class, they often aren’t given those opportunities to prove themselves to be more than that,” she says.
“We help the teen become a positive role model for that child,” she adds. The teenagers also have reflective sessions after the nursery visit to learn more about building healthy relationships and positive attitudes.
According to Power2, 78% young people on the scheme improve their attitude to learning and 83% of them have improved self esteem.
Often the toddler also has additional needs such as speech and language delays or difficulty making friends and Lisa, who teaches at one of the nursery’s involved in the project says it has a big impact on the children.
“They love having that special person each Friday,” she says. “It’s lovely to see them having that one to one time and the kids running up hugging the teens every week.”
How can you help your child with attendance?
This scheme is one small programme aiming to help with the very complex issue of school advoidance.
The Department for Education provides guidance on what to do if your child is struggling to attend school.
Dr Weisberg, a consultant clinical psychologist who works with young people who feel disconnected from their education, says often children find it hard to engage with education because “there are lots of rules at school and none of them are under the kid’s control”.
In contrast, this programme “gives them a responsibility and empowerment to learn from what works and what doesn’t and they feel like they are making a real difference”.
He gives three tips on how parents can work with their child to improve their attendance:
- Raise it with the school – “Make sure the school are on the same page and there are lots of charities and support available to make things better.”
- Give the child agency – “Be available. I recommend parents spend at least 10 minutes a day with each child without distractions like screens or phones.”
- Follow their lead – With younger children, it’s important for parents to play with them and follow their lead which can “foster healthy relationships and confidence”.
Sue Armstrong, a clinical service manager at relationship support charity Relate, says other ways to support your child through school anxiety and avoidance include:
- Avoid blaming yourself and your child – “It’s important to try not to feel guilty or that this is somehow your fault”.
- Look forward to positive things – “Continuing ‘normal’ family events will help all of you. Finding time, when you can, for your own interests, as a couple and individually, is vital”.
- Accept there will be ups and downs – “You may feel you’re being pulled in every direction, having to keep a job going and support your child when they may be feeling very anxious and confused, that there’s no space left for you”.
