Even with your closest friends—or loved ones you genuinely enjoy being around—there comes a point when you’ve simply had enough of them. The fatigue sets in, your patience thins, and suddenly, the thought of heading home sounds irresistible. How long it takes to reach that breaking point may have seemed more like a matter of intuition—but a new survey suggests there might be a specific timeframe.
According to Hinge’s new “Social Energy Study,” which surveyed more than 10,000 participants, 38% of people experienced signs of social exhaustion—losing energy, feeling overstimulated—after just 2-3 hours of hanging out. It’s just one small survey, obviously, but this “social sweet spot,” as Hinge calls it, tracks with what many therapists see in their own practice.
“It’s just enough time to do the things we enjoy with loved ones—seeing a movie, grabbing a meal, doing some shopping,” Nari Jeter, LMFT, licensed couples therapist in Florida and cohost of The Coupled Podcast, tells SELF. “Most of my clients are adults with busy schedules, spouses, and children, so 2-3 hours seems manageable for getting your social needs met without feeling overwhelmed.”
That said, this magic number isn’t universal, and there are a few things to know about figuring out your own “social sweet spot.”
What’s your ‘social sweet spot’?
Even the most extroverted among us have a limit. No matter how much you love your friends or family, “it’s completely normal to feel irritable or bored when spending time with them,” Jeter says. “However, feelings of exhaustion or wanting to leave don’t necessarily reflect the strength of your relationship, but more so individual needs, preferences, and boundaries.”
While, according to this Hinge survey, the average breaking point comes after a few hours, how long you can interact before hitting a wall depends on a few things. For one, it matters who you’re with. (Some friends make marathon hangouts or sleepovers feel effortless, while others—small-talk-heavy coworkers or the college companion who overshares—can drain you after 45 minutes.) What you’re doing also matters: Hours of back-to-back yapping will probably tire you out faster than, say, watching a movie.
Certain personality types are also more prone to this kind of burnout: “Socializing, especially with somebody new, is more taxing for an introvert,” Laurie Helgoe, PhD, associate clinical professor of psychology at Augsburg University and author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, tells SELF. “So they benefit more from regular pauses or breaks in conversation.”
