Manchester United – bloody hell. After a quasi-farcical display that somehow pulled them back to 2-2 and penalties, Ruben Amorim’s rabble lost a fevered shootout 12-11.
When Bryan Mbeumo’s kick smacked Christy Pym’s bar Grimsby entered the nirvana of a cup shock for the ages, delirious home fans invaded, and their song of “Oh when the Town go steaming in” sweetly summed up what had been administered to United.
The visitors were two down by the interval when Charles Vernam and Tyrell Warren strikes had the 20‑time English champions staring at a humiliating oblivion.
However, a 75th-minute Mbeumo finish handed United a lifeline before Harry Maguire’s stooping header squeezed in at the near post took the tie to the penalty lottery.
Amorim’s men lost it – so the inquest begins. The head coach and his side hobble next to the visit of Burnley on Saturday. It does not need a vivid imagination to picture United losing that one too and extending their winless run to the opening four outings of an already stricken campaign.
Amorim may survive a defeat at Old Trafford – he has just overseen a £200m-plus summer spend, after all – but the bottom line is this: nine months into the job the head coach continues to put out a team that lack verve, flair, solidity and anything approaching a discernible pattern of play.
After the farrago of his side’s performance Amorim stood pitchside and was regaled with jubilant verses of “you’re getting sacked in the morning”: this cruel wit sharply crystallises the state United are in – and their coach is culpable.
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Carabao Cup third-round draw
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Grimsby’s reward for toppling Manchester United in the Carabao Cup is a third-round trip to crisis club Sheffield Wednesday.
Liverpool will host Southampton and there is also a home tie for defending champions Newcastle as they welcome League One Bradford.
Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham and Manchester City will all also face third-tier opposition.
The Gunners visit Port Vale, Enzo Maresca’s side head to Lincoln, Spurs host Doncaster, while City begin their quest to win the League Cup for the first time since 2021 with a trip along the M62 to face Huddersfield.
There are all-Premier League clashes as Brentford host Aston Villa, who met at the weekend in the league, and Wolves entertain Everton.
Nottingham Forest visit Championship side Swansea while Crystal Palace host Millwall in a repeat of last season’s fiercely-contested FA Cup tie, which saw Jean-Philippe Mateta suffer a serious head injury.
Burnley host Cardiff, Brighton travel to League One Barnsley, Fulham host Cambridge, Wrexham welcome Reading and Wigan play Wycombe.
Ties will be played in the weeks commencing September 15 and 22. (PA Media)
On a smooth green sward that allowed no excuse the XI Amorim sent out in search of a win showed eight changes. Of these Kobbie Mainoo, Benjamin Sesko, André Onana, Harry Maguire and Manuel Ugarte were the headline acts given first starts and who failed to quieten a rambunctious crowd all night.
United began and ended under the pump. A Vernam corner from the left threatened to arrow over the hapless Onana before the goalkeeper scurried back and tipped over. Dave Artell drilled his unit to tap the ball about then up tempo and stampede at United. Or rush to a man in red livery to squeeze them – precisely how they took the lead.
Under pressure Amad Diallo miscontrolled, tried to retrieve the ball, he and Ugarte bumped into each other, pratfalled, and Grimsby took over. A quick right-left Darragh Burns diagonal put Vernam in, and he beat Onana at his near post: the Cameroonian should have saved so here was the latest howler from a United man between the sticks.
Now, the Mariners’ second. A short Vernam corner on the left was returned and the No 30 sliced in a delivery. Onana rose above a thicket of players and, farcically, missed a clearing punch, the ball dropped to Warren, who rolled home against the club he left in 2019.
Cue a Grimsby support in party mode, their taunts a cutting “can we play you every week”, and “Premier League/you’re having a laugh”. They had a point. Grimsby were in cruise control, toying with their shellshocked guest. When Sesko managed a header you were reminded that United were allowed to attack – too.
At the interval Amorim hooked Tyler Fredericson, Patrick Dorgu and Ugarte for Matthijs De Ligt, Mbuemo and Bruno Fernandes. Calling for the cavalry showed how dire United were.
In bucketing rain Grimsby poured forward and a Burns effort went for a corner as, again, United’s noses were bloodied. The downpour, becoming biblical, made the surface greasy – perfect for a side on a mission to pen themselves into football immortality.
United were in a catch-22 of needing to press to pull a goal back while not daring to leave space for Artell’s ruthless unit to prosper again. Example: Grimsby moved along their right, swapped passes, and lifted a high-ball in – the omnipotent Vernam leaped and bounced a header into the ground which Onana clutched.
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Brighton and Fulham march on
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Stefanos Tzimas claimed a debut double as Brighton cruised into the third round if the Carabao Cup with a crushing 6-0 victory at Oxford.
The Greece Under-21 striker, who cost £20.8m from the German club Nurnberg, struck twice in seven second-half minutes before fellow newcomer Tommy Watson sealed the Seagulls’ first win of the season.
First-half finishes from Olivier Boscagli – another debutant – and the midfielder Brajan Gruda set Albion on course for a resounding victory at the Kassam Stadium before Diego Gomez increased the advantage on the hour.
Raul Jimenez ensured Fulham avoided a shock as they dispatched the Championship side Bristol City 2-0.
The Mexico striker Jimenez pressured George Tanner into scoring an early own goal and then grabbed the second as the Cottagers cruised through.
Marco Silva, the Fulham manager, had been stung by City in the competition before, when they knocked his top-flight Watford side out with a 3-2 result at the same stage eight years ago, but Jimenez ensured there would be no repeat.
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Amorim’s substitutions had failed to engineer any dominance and when Diallo was flagged offside his manager dipped his head in anguish – a regular sensation for him.
Amorim, despairing, sent for a favourite player, Mason Mount, who replaced Ayden Heaven. Yet when Mbeumo struck United still seemed a universe away from levelling. But they do possess spirit, as personified by Maguire whose intervention took them to penalties and the heartbreak of defeat this way.
Amorim was not spotted on the touchline witnessing the kicks – as odd as the decision to have his new £70m leader of the attack, Sesko, as taker No 10. Again, expect this to be dissected.
