Growing up, I hated traveling, though I couldn’t pinpoint why. All I knew was that the unfamiliarity of everything from hotel bed sheets to cultural customs felt wholly dysregulating.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism at the ages of 19 and 22, respectively, everything clicked into place, and I was catapulted into a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. I realized the problem wasn’t travel—it was unmet needs.
Rebecca Ker, a UK-based psychologist who specializes in treating emotional issues and autism spectrum disorders, says, “Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world can be exhausting, especially while traveling.” But, with a careful plan that honors your needs, she says travel can be an incredibly enriching experience for neurodivergent folks.
So, in November 2024, I booked a six-day solo trip from New York City to Western Europe. I’d spend four days in Amsterdam, staying in a shared hostel room, and two days in Paris, opting for a private hostel room. I was excited for the adventure, but I knew I’d need to scrap the idea of what a good trip should look like.
As a neurodivergent person, my needs, particularly sensory and social, may look different than a neurotypical person’s, so it was important for me to make a highly personalized plan.
Here’s what I did to accommodate my needs on my trip—and what I’ll do differently next time.
1. Noise-Cancelling Headphones Are a Must
When I was packing up my bag, I made sure to include noise-cancelling headphones and earplugs to manage my sensory sensitivities. When I’m in environments with loud or conflicting noises, like train stations, museums, and airports, my fight-or-flight reaction revs up, and I become anxious, agitated, and even struggle to think clearly.
I typically use the Loop Switch 2s to dim the noise, but I opted for disposable earplugs on this trip so I wouldn’t risk losing my own. My headphones are particularly beneficial during bedtime because I’m sensitive to sounds like buzzing machinery or breathing when trying to fall asleep.
2. Attaching Items to My Body Helped Quell Fears of Losing Them
I didn’t check a bag and kept most of my belongings in a large backpack, but I stored all of my valuables, such as my ID, passport, and wallet, in a fanny pack around my waist.
As someone who often ruminates on the what-ifs, courtesy of autism’s differences in cognitive processing, and an extensive history of losing things, courtesy of ADHD’s differences in working memory and executive functioning, it was nice to have a degree of security.
Having my essentials physically attached to my body was a helpful, tactile way to assure myself I had everything I needed. Whenever I found myself worrying I was missing something, I’d just touch my fanny pack and know everything was in place. I had only planned to use the fanny pack during travel, but I ended up wearing it every day.
3. I Abandoned the Belief That I Needed to “See It All”
I knew that trying to cram in as much sightseeing as possible would be a fast track to burnout, so I opted for flexible planning based on my moment-to-moment energy levels. I drafted a loose plan for each day, with one or two activities to frame my time around.
I realized the problem wasn’t travel—it was unmet needs.
On my first full day in Paris, I planned a morning trip to the Carnavalet Museum, the city’s oldest museum, and an evening stroll through the shops in the Arts et Métiers neighborhood. While I initially worried my empty afternoon was a “waste” of the city, having less on my plate meant less worrying about managing details like getting to the right place at the right time and getting tickets organized. All of this extra time meant I was able to take a beat and decompress in my room—which brings me to my next point.
4. I Blocked Out Time to Chill and Regulate My Emotions
Alone time can be an important time for many neurodivergent individuals, particularly autistic folks, to self-regulate, process emotions, reduce sensory overwhelm, and recharge social battery.
I scheduled daily time for rest in the afternoon, both in my hostel room and in my private room. I closed the blinds and just listened to my comfort music, largely songs from Broadway musicals. Taking time for myself to be alone and disengage from the chaos outside allowed me to be more present in the activities I did choose to do.
5. A Good Night’s Sleep Is Non-Negotiable
I prioritized quality sleep. I know I don’t operate well without a good night’s rest, so while the others in my hostel got up bright and early, I made sure to stay in bed until my body was ready (which sometimes looked as late as 11 A.M.).
I may have missed out on some landmarks, but giving myself additional time to rest allowed me to truly relish and appreciate the beauty of the ones I did see.
6. I Tested Out Different Housing Accommodations
I booked a four-person hostel room in Amsterdam because I wanted to save money on housing, and, quite frankly, I was curious to see how I’d handle it. I strongly disliked sleepovers growing up because they disrupted my sleep routine and need for alone time, but I wanted to know if I’d feel the same in a hostel situation.
Because I had an inkling that staying in a hostel would be a stretch for me, I splurged on a private room in a hostel for myself in Paris. I booked both of these accommodations about a month before my trip.
By day three in Amsterdam, I felt myself shutting down and feeling stressed by my inability to “escape” the world around me. Knowing that I’d soon be able to hunker down in a private room in Paris kept me feeling optimistic. I’m so glad I booked the private room, as it allowed me to decompress in a quiet, dark space and reenergize myself for my last two days of sightseeing.
Not Everything on My Trip Went Smoothly. Here’s What I’ll Do Differently Next Time.
I’ll Never Book a Middle Seat Again
I often feel stressed and restless during long plane or train rides, so next time I’ll seek out aisle seats, rather than the middle seats I chose to save money, for easy access to stand up or use the restroom. This will also relieve the anxiety of having to interact with the people in my row to get up, which can be a barrier for me to address my need for movement.
Ker adds that some neurodivergent folks may like wearing a sunflower-patterned lanyard while traveling, which people with invisible disabilities use as a way to signal that they may need extra support. She also adds that “many large stations and airports offer support to those that need help finding their way around, a quiet area or early boarding.”
Night Travel Is Out of the Question
I chose a late-night train ride from Amsterdam to Paris to maximize my time, but it disrupted my nighttime routine and sleep schedule, and I paid the price the next day in fatigue and stress. My nighttime routine is sacred to me and makes me feel safe, comfortable, and regulated, so I will prioritize keeping that in check above all else.
Ker encourages neurodivergent folks to consider what things will help them feel regulated and relaxed. “Try to anchor your day with some predictable routines where you can.”
I’ll Keep My Documents More Organized
Although I had all my essentials tucked into my fanny pack, I’d like to keep a more robust digital library of my tickets and documents. I often found myself fumbling around for tickets and worrying that somehow something was lost. “For a neurodivergent brain that struggles with tasks relating to executive function, carefully planning, making lists, and having backup plans in case of missed trains might be important,” says Ker.
Finding More Moments of Solitude
I would consider budgeting better in other areas, like food and transportation, in order to afford a solo room in a hostel or hotel. I think I would’ve enjoyed my trip more and had fewer crashes if I were able to retreat to my own space at will. Ker suggests that neurodivergent people allot space for alone time and adequate rest. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to cram in too much,” she says.
Bring Better Earplugs
Next time, I’ll bring along some stronger earplugs to help me create the illusion of solitude when it’s not possible. I really struggled in the hostel because I felt dysregulated by the sound of people moving and breathing, so I would have benefited from bringing a higher-quality pair of plugs.
No More Winter Trips
Ker encourages neurodivergent folks to really consider where they want to go. “Some cultures are more neurodivergent friendly than others. Do you prefer busy cities or rural mountains? Do you have a passion or interest motivating your travel?”
For me, this means traveling during warmer months or to a warmer destination. My wintertime trip made me realize that I dislike the sensation of wearing heavy clothes, and I struggle with the transition of putting layers on and taking them off. Being in a warmer environment would be a game-changer.
My first solo travel experience was magical and challenging all at once, and I can’t wait for the next. I’m still learning to take things slow, listening to my body, and unassigning myself from the neurotypical standard of what traveling should look like.
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