Adult friendships are complicated—and honestly, we don’t talk about them enough. That’s exactly why we’re launching a new advice column dedicated to making sense of our platonic relationships. Friendship expert and therapist Miriam Kirmayer, PhD, will respond to anonymous questions every month—whether you’re trying to reconnect with a distant pal or get advice on dealing with a “frenemy” in your life. No topic is too small, too awkward, or too complicated for her to tackle. Looking for a drama-free way to end a toxic friendship? Need tips on staying close with your crew after becoming a new parent? Whatever’s going on in your social circle, SELF’s Asking for a Friend is here to give you the answers.
Got a friendship dilemma that’s eating you from the inside out? Submit your anonymous questions below, and Dr. Kirmayer may answer them in a future column.
Here’s what we’re looking for
- Be specific. Instead of something like, “My friend is annoying me—what do I do?” write a short paragraph describing your situation. What did your friend do, exactly? How did it make you feel? You’re welcome to change names or small identifying details to protect your privacy, but the more context you can share, the better advice we can give!
- Include any relevant backstory. Tips on ghosting a new friend vs. a lifelong bestie will look pretty different. So help Dr. Kirmayer understand your particular relationship by including this information. Are you writing about a former roommate? A newer mutual you met through work? A “frenemy” you’ve known since childhood?
- Tell us what kind of advice you want. Are you looking for a therapist-approved script on how to confront a friend? An expert take on who’s “in the wrong?” Actionable examples of how to set boundaries? Let us know what kind of support would be most helpful to you.
- Keep it anonymous. Again, please avoid including names or identifying info. We want to protect your—and your friend’s—privacy!
