It’s ultrarunning season, and people around the world are stepping out to do the impossible. Fifty miles feels like a lot, but hey why not double it? These mammoths of mileage have unlocked a new level of human potential, but as heroic as their achievements may be, there is still so much mystery when it comes to going the distance.
After careful consideration, we’ve put together six questions that we want to ask an ultramarathoner but have been too afraid to pursue. Hey folks, there are just some things we need to know.
1. Do You Have Toenails?
Long runs over uneven, rocky trail comes with its share of foot issues, but few sacrifices are greater than those poor keratin creatures attached to your precious foot fingers. Give us the in-shoe scoop: How many of those bad boys do you lose every race and how quick do they grow back? For many ultramarathoners, this seems to be par for the racecourse, but is there a way to strengthen your nails for another round? Anyone out there taking them out for good?
2. What’s Your Nip Game?
Maximum mileage spells a whole lot of extra friction in those exposed places. For most racers, nipples bear the brunt of it, channeling chafage on a level us normal mile loggers can’t fully grasp. So how do you prepare for this inevitable rub fest? Are we talking bandages, tape, Vaseline, or something even burlier? When it comes to nipple chafing, are some shirts better than others? How about no shirts? We feel for your chesticles, we really do.
3. Where Does Your Mind Wander?
You’ve got 100 miles (or more) ahead of you—that’s a lot of think time. What are you thinking about? Do you keep it reigned in or let it roam? Counting steps seems like a miserable endeavor, so are there other ways to pass that time instead of one foot in front of the other? It also seems like some prime time for developing a few really hot takes or solving some of the world’s pressing problems. Give it to us. We need answers!
4. Poo in the Shoe
We’ve all seen the photos: that trickle of not-so-mysterious brown snaking down your leg at mile 75. Poop happens, especially over 100 miles of body-jostling, calorie-evaporating singletrack. So, what goes down when that tummy starts to rumble? Do you have a poo plan? What’s the strategy when the time is now and your next aid station is miles away? Are there any unwritten rules for in-race relief?
5. Your Best Kept Vest Secret
There are only so many power gels in the world; what’s an item that makes your running vest unique? Are you bringing trails snacks for your furry mountain friends? A little extra Bag Balm for the undercarriage? Crystals for energetic intervention? We’re all built a little different, but what’s the secret pocket treasure that gives you a leg up?
6. Do You Ever Fall Asleep Running?
Serious question! The combination of fatigue, meditation, and sheer time on the trail makes for one heck of a backcountry lullaby. Do you ever just…nod off while running? When things get a little sleepy, what are the best ways to keep your race on track? We’re aware of the hallucinations and tears, but sometimes being tired goes even further. Are the sleepy scaries ever too much?
